


To know the world's true yearning

by Eirwyn



Category: Naruto
Genre: Alternate Universe - No Ninjas, Angst, Eventual Romance, Multi, Slow Burn
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-07-23
Updated: 2016-07-23
Packaged: 2018-07-26 05:35:33
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,454
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7562383
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Eirwyn/pseuds/Eirwyn
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>When Sasuke was a young boy, a devastating series of events left him to grow up without the one person he had always looked up to: his older brother Itachi. Despite the obstacles in his way, Sasuke was determined to somehow find a way to bring his brother home again.</p>
<p>That quest would lead him down a road where there were secrets and plots best left alone, and soon Sasuke finds that it's not just Itachi he has to fight for anymore....</p>
            </blockquote>





	To know the world's true yearning

**Author's Note:**

> I have a long and complicated history with this manga/anime, in that I started it when I was thirteen and I am currently twenty-four, and it had broken my heart more times than I care to count, which essentially means that I sometimes take year-long hiatuses from the fandom.
> 
> I started writing this on one of those hiatuses. I'm afraid that it's going to be sporadic. I'm afraid it's going to be bad. I'm afraid that no-one's going to be interested. But this is my baby, and a project that's very precious to me, and in the event that even one person will read and enjoy this, I'm going to put it out there.
> 
> This prologue is here to sort of test the waters as it were. Wedding season is upon me right now, so putting this up will hopefully gauge interest without me having to update too quickly! If you do read and enjoy this, kudos is always nice, and comments will literally make my week :)

Sasuke was dying.

However, at eleven years old, Sasuke was still blissfully unaware of his own mortality. So he lay in bed, too weak to really do anything other than drink the occasional sip of water and complain fretfully to anyone that would listen that he was missing the summer. As Sasuke was the baby of the household, whoever was watching him would nod, hum sympathetically, and then offer to fetch something to entertain him.

The person currently sitting with him was Itachi, his sixteen year old brother, who was intensely aware of his little brother’s mortality and just as intensely determined to protect him from it. Sasuke, having exhausted what little strength remained to him, was starting to fall asleep, dark eyes drooping. Itachi reached over and placed a damp cloth across his forehead and eyes before standing and stretching, body cramped from sitting on a small stool all day. He cast one more fond look at Sasuke before leaving the room.

The once bustling and loud Uchiha compound was still and silent as Itachi picked his way through the corridors. Most of the rooms were blocked off, bolted and barred. Nobody was allowed in or out of the compound, so nobody could come in to take care of the dead. Itachi had managed some small enchantment to seal the rooms, stopping the smell and the disease from spreading, but even with that, anybody with half a brain could sense death emanating from the area. Itachi paused briefly to lay a hand against a door and bow his head. It was his parents’ room. The seal had been placed two days ago. With a deep breath, Itachi moved on, three more doors down, to where the only other living member of his clan bar Sasuke lay resting.

Itachi knocked gently and asked. “Shisui, are you awake?”

“Yes,” replied a weak voice. “Come in, Itachi.”

Itachi pushed the door open and walked in. The room was small and bare, stripped out in an attempt to limit the number of things that could move between rooms and pass on the disease. Lying on the only bed in the room was a boy of about eighteen years, dark hair and dark eyes typical of the Uchiha clan, but his body was thin, ravaged by illness, and the hand he extended to Itachi was weak and trembling. Itachi stepped inside to take the hand and gently return it to Shisui’s side as he sat by the bed.

“Are you hungry? Or thirsty?”

Shisui shook his head. “No. How’s Sasuke?”

Itachi put his head in his hands. “He’s dying, Shisui. He’ll take water when he’s made to, but he’s too weak to leave his bed and he hasn’t eaten in days…”

“Like me.”

“I…. Shisui… I….”

Shisui laughed weakly. “Come on, Itachi, I’m not a child like your brother. I know I’m dying. It’s been a miracle I’ve made it this long.”

“Because you’re strong! You could still beat this!”

“I’m not the strong one here, Itachi.”

Itachi opened his mouth to protest but was silenced by Shisui’s calm, dark gaze as the young man gathered his thoughts. When Shisui reached out again, Itachi took his hand and waited for him to speak, privately shocked at the lack of strength in Shisui’s grip.

“I’m pleased it’s you.” Shisui finally stated. “If there was only ever going to be one of our clan to survive the Sickness. I’m glad it was you.”

Itachi looked away. “I’m not. I’m not glad and I’m not strong. If I was strong I would be able to protect Sasuke and you. As it is, I’m stuck here, condemned to watch my clan die because Konoha will not help.”

“The Hokage can’t risk Konoha, let alone the rest of the Fire Country.”

“I know!” Itachi exclaimed, an uncharacteristic anger suffusing his features. “But aren’t we a clan of Konoha? Aren’t our lives just as important as every other life in Konoha? They even denied us medical aid, Shisui. They isolated us and left us to die!”

Shisui squeezed Itachi’s hand. “You can’t let that anger consume you. We are the record-keepers. We are unbiased. We are fair, even when the world is not.”

Itachi smiled reluctantly. “Always teaching me, even when you can’t sit up. Are you all right for me to leave? I have things to do.”

Shisui nodded agreeably. “I’ll try and sleep. It’s getting exhausting just lying here now.”

After Itachi left Shisui to rest, he made his way out to the back of the house where the garden and koi pond was. It was falling into disrepair with nobody around to maintain it, but Itachi still found it comforting to sit in and think. He had rather a lot of thinking to do, and he found himself mentally wandering back three months, to when this nightmare had begun.

There were always rumours about the Sickness, it was such a terrifying disease that people lived in fear of it, so if a cough or a headache went on for longer than expected, people started whispering about the Sickness. The last time it had come to Konoha, Itachi had been five and Sasuke a new-born baby. It killed many people, but luckily the Uchiha clan had escaped unscathed. What Itachi mostly remembered from that time was how annoying it was to be stuck in the house with a new-born baby brother who wouldn’t stop screaming. Maybe this was karma for escaping last time….

Regardless, despite the fear that the Sickness always provoked, the Uchiha were the record-keepers for the whole country, and so a lot of the younger members of the clan travelled around the country, on the lookout for records of the history of the country. One of the Uchiha had found a scroll outlining one of the first alliances between the Fire and Wind Countries. He had made his way back to Konoha and presented the scroll to be inspected.

A week later he was dead.

The medics has inspected the body and confirmed that he had died of the Sickness. By that point, seven more Uchiha were sick, so the whole compound was put into quarantine, nobody allowed in or out, and people kept on dying. Itachi didn’t know why he’d been spared the Sickness, but he did know that if he was the only one of his clan to survive, he would never be able to forgive himself. Leaving the compound was breaking the quarantine. Leaving the compound could mean saving Shisui’s and Sasuke’s life, so for once in his life, Itachi was going to be selfish. 

For Sasuke.

For Shisui.

That night, after ensuring that both boys were as comfortable and safe as they could be, Itachi dressed in his darkest clothes and made his towards the east side of the compound. The wall on that side had been repaired several times over the years, leaving uneven bricks perfect for climbing. Itachi swiftly climbed it, trying to ignore all the memories of him and Shisui doing the exact same thing hundreds of times before, sneaking out of the compound when grounded to go and be with their friends. Shisui always wore the exact same expression of concealed triumph every time they broke the rules. The expression hadn’t changed much as Shisui got older, just the circumstances that induced it.

As Itachi crouched on the top of the wall, a slight shimmer in the corner of his eye caught his attention. Pausing, Itachi grabbed a handful of dust and blew it forward. As he expected, the debris hit a shield and was propelled backwards with the same force that it had been blown forward with. Itachi frowned, and noted that the leaves from the tree outside of the barrier were able to pass through with no problems. This was a complicated and hard-to-maintain barrier cast, so there were at least three Uzumaki clan members around. Itachi was a competent mage, but not good enough to take on three trained Uzumaki mages. If he tried to break through the barrier, they would sense it and he would be stopped. He couldn’t afford to be stopped.

Itachi climbed back down and started to walk back through the compound, deep in thought. Nobody had informed the Uchiha that a barrier had been put around the compound, so they weren’t meant to know it was there. Which meant there had to be no way for them to accidentally discover it whilst going about everyday chores. This meant…. Itachi smiled to himself. The gates. The barrier would be parted there, as things had been passed back and for through there all the time. It would be guarded, of course, but Itachi could deal with that.

He would have to.

When he reached the main gates of the compound, Itachi took a couple of deep breaths, before pulling them open and stepping through. There was no barrier, as expected, but Itachi had taken maybe two steps before two guards appeared out of nowhere, blocking his path with their bodies and their swords, raised to point at Itachi’s throat. One of them couldn’t have been much older than Itachi, but the other was clearly experienced and both wore the insignia of the Namikaze clan.

The older one spoke first. “Turn back, Uchiha. You are not permitted to leave.”

Unwilling to go straight to the threats, Itachi decided he would try to appeal to them first. “Please, I need help. My little brother, he’s dying. We need a medic.”

Their expressions didn’t change.

“Nobody goes in or out. Go back.”

“Fine, then one of you fetches a medic and I’ll go back, but we need help.”

“You have been given all the medical supplies you need. Go back.”

“We aren’t medics! You could give us all the supplies in Fire Country and it wouldn’t help. We need one of the Haruno clan!”

Itachi took a few steps forward, and the older guard swung his sword threateningly as he repeated. “Go back into the compound, child. You’ll be getting no help from us.”  
Itachi had stepped backwards to miss the sword swung at his face and simultaneously decided that clearly appealing wasn’t going to work. On to the next step. He raised a small bag and shouted. “Let me pass or I’ll infect you with the Sickness!”

Both guards paused and the younger guard went very pale. Itachi raised the bag threateningly as he stepped forward and whilst the younger guard cowered back, the older guard stood his ground. Itachi frowned and called. “Get out of my way! In this bag are rags from all of the bodies of my clan! I will force them to stick to you and infect you!”

“I am willing to die for Konoha.” The older guard stated. “I will die doing my duty. Come on then, Uchiha.”

Itachi took a deep breath… and let it out with a sigh, lowering the bag and opening it to show the guards it was empty. The young guard visibly relaxed and move back in towards Itachi, sword raised again. Itachi backed off, asking. “How did you know?”

The older guard smiled, suddenly looking a lot more sympathetic as he replied. “No member of a clan of Konoha would willingly put it in danger.”

“True,” Itachi acknowledged. “But I would have no problem ruining a clan’s reputation. You are both from the Namikaze clan, correct?”

The young guard spoke for the first time. “What would you know about the Namikaze clan, Uchiha?”

Itachi tossed him a pitying look, normally reserved for when Sasuke did something especially embarrassing – for him, at least. Who knew eleven-year-olds were so easy to embarrass?

“We are the record-keepers. We have the history of the entire Fire Country at our disposal and you think we’d know nothing of one of its clans? You really are proving that the Namikaze aren’t known for their brains.”

The younger guard growled and made to attack Itachi, but the older guard intervened. “Mitsuru, stop!”

Itachi smiled. “See, your superior knows to fear Uchiha knowledge. Let me pass or every secret your clan ever tried to keep will become common knowledge.”

“You’re bluffing again.”

Itachi let every emotion he was feeling cross his face as he replied. “Maybe. Maybe I am bluffing. Or maybe, I am a child, as you called me. A child who has watched his clan go extinct, his parents die, and is facing the rest of his life without the two people who mean the most to him in the whole world. Two people who I could save and will use any means necessary to do so. Do you still think I’m bluffing?”

The older guard looked serious as he motioned for Mitsuru to move out of Itachi’s way and said. “I believe you. But you must know that we will signal your escape and by directly disobeyed the Hokage’s order, you’ll be considered a traitor to Konoha.”

Itachi sighed. “I know.” He started to run forward, throwing a flash bomb over his shoulder and as it went off, he remarked. “But that should delay you for a bit.”

Never before was Itachi so grateful that one of his cousins had been so determined to join Konoha’s armed forces. He had had a ridiculous amount of weapons lying around in his room. As Itachi reached the first clinic on his list to visit ten minutes later, he saw a red pillar of light go up into the night sky. The flash bomb hadn’t given him as much time as he had hoped for.

He hammered on the door of the clinic, but before it was answered, he was forced to duck into the shadows and run as a whole host of Konoha’s military force began to descend onto the streets. That pattern continued, as Itachi would reach a clinic or hospital only to be either forced to move before anyone answered, or to find that the military had already set up a perimeter preventing anyone getting to the door without at least two people spotting him.

After the sixth attempt of getting to a clinic or hospital and the sixth time of nearly being caught – though this one was closer than any other time before – Itachi crouched in an alleyway, his back against the wall and tried to catch his breath. He was starting to lose hope in the situation, but there was no way he was going back to the compound without help. He climbed to his feet and was nearly shocked right off them again when a woman’s voice came from right over his shoulder, inquiring casually. “So, why are you running from them, Uchiha?”

Itachi managed to control the urge to jump into the air and turned around to see a blonde woman leaning against the alley wall, looking at him with bored but curious blue eyes. He took a couple of deep breaths and replied. “Don’t you know about the Sickness? Where have you been?”

The blonde woman shrugged. “I haven’t been in Konoha for a long time. So the Sickness is here, and you… broke quarantine?”

Itachi nodded. “My whole clan was quarantined. I need a doctor. My brother… my best friend… but nobody’s allowed in or out and they’re blocking off access to the hospitals and clinics….”

Itachi trailed off, unable to express his fear and frustration verbally. The blonde woman looked him up and down before standing upright and saying. “Well, I’m a medic. I’ll help your family.”

Itachi looked at her for long moments before responding. “How do I know I can trust you?”

The woman shrugged. “You don’t. However, you’ve already told me that without a medic, your family will certainly die. Bringing me to them can’t make their chances of survival any worse.”

Itachi had to acknowledge that point and peered out of the alley to see where the military were stationed and how he could go about leading this woman back to the Uchiha compound without being spotted. Hopefully the idea that he might return wouldn’t enter their heads until too late.

The first pink tinged rays of light were starting to appear as Itachi reached the compound walls with the strange woman. Already knowing that the barrier allowed things in, Itachi led her over the east side wall. He wasn’t sure if guards had been told to remain at the entrance, but he wasn’t going to take the risk. He disliked fighting for fighting’s sake, and there were only so many times he could lie his way in and out. Safer not to be noticed, and by his companion’s silence, Itachi surmised that she agreed. There would certainly be questions as to why Itachi was acting like an intruder in his own home otherwise.

Upon reaching his house, Itachi pointed towards Sasuke’s room and said. “In there is my little brother Sasuke. Can you start with him? Help yourself to anything in the compound that might help you. I’m going to check on Shisui.”

“Don’t you worry about me, Uchiha Itachi!” He heard her call after him. “I’ve never been backwards about asking for payment.”

Damn it. Payment. Itachi hadn’t even thought about how he would pay for any medics he might manage to persuade into treating Sasuke and Shisui. He was sure his parents had money in the house somewhere, but it seemed very mercenary to go through their things for money so soon after their deaths. Hopefully they would understand though. This was for Sasuke, and maybe Shisui had some ideas as to finding money.

With that thought, Itachi knocked on Shisui’s door, calling. “Shisui? It’s Itachi, I found someone who can help heal you, can I come in? Shisui…?”

Itachi frowned and listened. Shisui was a light sleeper, knocking on the door was normally enough, but if he was sleeping deeper than usual, Itachi didn’t want to disturb him. What he heard wasn’t the sounds of somebody sleeping. It was a high-pitched keening sound, and it set Itachi’s teeth on edge. He slammed the door open and was confronted by the sight of Shisui writhing and still making that awful noise, body rigid and eyes rolled back in his head. He was having a seizure. Itachi yelled desperately for the woman, who, when she arrived, took one look at Shisui and shoved Itachi out of the room, telling him to finish giving Sasuke the medicine she’d mixed up and if he had faith in anything at all, to start praying to it.

As Itachi sat on the edge of Sasuke’s bed, lifting his little brother’s head so he could drink easily, his thoughts kept going to Shisui, and the horrible state he’d found him in, and quietly, thoroughly blaming himself. He should have asked the medic to go to Shisui’s room in the first place. He should never have left Shisui in the first place. He should have gone for a medic sooner. All the ifs, buts and maybes kept Itachi deep in thought; blind and deaf to his surroundings until a hand was laid gently on his shoulder.

Itachi twisted around to see the blonde woman and asked. “Is he all right?”

“He’s not dead.”

“That’s not what I asked.”

The blonde woman raised an eyebrow and replied. “Quite right, but that’s really all I can say at the moment. He’s been ill for longer than your brother, right?”

Itachi nodded.

“Then the Sickness is further progressed in him. Your brother, I was prepared to deal with. Medicine to combat some of the more severe symptoms will give his body some breathing room and a chance to fight back. In Shisui, however… he’s in a coma and some of his organs have started failing. It’s lucky you went today, Uchiha Itachi. You would have lost him tonight for sure otherwise.”

Itachi narrowed his eyes at her. “I don’t recall telling you my name.”

She looked back, unafraid. “You didn’t. The legend of the Uchiha clan reaches even beyond the Fire Country, and the names of their two young prodigies travel as well. Uchiha Shisui and Uchiha Itachi. The jewels in Uchiha’s crown. Only a prodigy could have got through a Hokage-ordered quarantine, and when you named Shisui as one of the sick, well, it was obvious.”

“Do I get to know your name?”

The blonde woman smiled. “A bold request. If I decide to tell you my name, Uchiha, it will be because you have earned it. Now, you’ll need to build a fire in Shisui’s room, and make up a place to sleep there. He’s going to need 24-hour supervision.”

Itachi got up and began to move to sort things out for her, but her hand gripped his shoulder and forced him to stay still as she added. “Not now, child, come on. You need to rest. Leave your family in my care tonight and actually sleep. I can see from your eyes that you haven’t been doing too much of that lately.”

Itachi thought about protesting or insisting, but he’d noticed that once he had sat down, all of the adrenaline and most of the fear had drained right out of him, leaving him to force his eyes open and his mind to focus. He stood and said. “Okay, I’ll sleep. You have the run of the compound, but all I ask is that you stay out of the rooms that have been sealed using this mark.” He traced it in the air for her. “It was an attempt to keep it from spreading and while it may not have helped, the conditions in those rooms are likely to be quite toxic.”

She nodded. “I can respect that.”

Itachi left the room with one more glance at his baby brother and the woman he was entrusting his care to, before heading to his room (placed equidistant between Shisui and Sasuke, so he could easily hear if they called) and collapsing onto the bed without even bothering to undress. The morning sun was streaming through his window now, bathing the room in its golden glow, but not even that could prevent Itachi from easily slipping into sleep. So he wasn’t particularly pleased to be dragged from it in what felt like only seconds later by an amplified voice announcing. “Uchiha Itachi, please identify your whereabouts and allow the military personnel to approach.”

Itachi rubbed his eyes and glanced at the clock beside him. It said 10 am and considering the sun rose at about 5 am these days, he’d only had about five hours sleep at most. He began to move towards the front of the house and was probably not as surprised as he should have been when the medic began to follow him. She seemed to do things completely down to her whim at the time.

Glancing over at him as they fell into step, she said. “Well done, kid. You’ve really shown them up.”

“I have?”

“Sure. An entire host of Konoha’s military force couldn’t find or prevent one sixteen year old child from doing what he wanted to do and have had to resort to _asking_ you to show yourself. What’s your plan?”

“I’m sorry?”

“Your plan.” She frowned at him. “You’re not just planning to hand yourself over, are you, Uchiha?”

Itachi nodded. “That was the general idea, yes. I broke the law, no matter what my reasons for it, and I should face the consequences honourably. I had hoped that I might be able to delay it long enough to see Sasuke and Shisui out of danger, but I suppose I can just hope for it.”

The blonde woman looked at him, before sighing and saying. “Why do I always get mixed up in things like this? I really do have the worst luck. You’re to let me talk to them first, Uchiha.”

Itachi went to protest, but was interrupted. They’d rounded the final corner and come into full view of the compound’s gate and the ten or so military personnel that were waiting there and at least three of them had gasped and fallen to their knees. Which was generally a sign of respect to royalty and that was confirmed when the probably-leader said loudly. “Princess Tsunade!”

Itachi turned to look at his companion, his only sign of surprise his raised eyebrows as he repeated the guardsman’s words. “Princess Tsunade?”

She looked at him and grinned. “I told you that you’d find out my name when you were worthy of it.”

“What are you…?” Itachi started, but was again interrupted by the guardsman, who shouted. “Princess Tsunade, what are you doing in there? This compound was quarantined due to…!”

“The Sickness, I know. And I go wherever it goes, in an attempt to find a cure and heal those suffering from it.” Her response seemed to leave the guardsman suitably cowed, so  
Tsunade continued. “I must ask you to leave the boy here. I need him.”

The lead guardsman tensed at that and replied. “He broke the quarantine! He is a traitor to Konoha!”

“Yeah, but I need an extra pair of hands and he’s already here. You can have him when my patients are out of danger.”

“How do we know he will keep to that?”

Itachi answered firmly. “I swear on the memory of my clan that when I know that the last two members of my family will not die, I will hand myself over to be judged.”

The leader opened his mouth to protest further, but was interrupted by Tsunade saying, in a steely voice. “The boy has sworn to you the deepest, most solemn oath he can. Don’t insult him and me by not taking him at his word.”

They backed down quite quickly after that and after Itachi had watched them until they were out of sight, he allowed the relief to show on his face as he said. “Thank you.”

Tsunade shrugged. “You had to go and be all noble and self-sacrificing, what else was I meant to do?”

“Still,” Itachi continued, still staring off the way the soldiers had left. “I owe you a great favour.”

“Well, you can start repaying it now. I wasn’t exaggerating when I said I was going to need an extra pair of hands around here. You say you’re no medic. Well, by the end of this, I’ll wager you’ll be as good as a Haruno.”

She was as good as her word. Itachi was thrown headlong into caring for Sasuke and Shisui, using Tsunade’s vast experience with the Sickness. He fetched and carried and mixed and cleaned and cooked and every night was so exhausted that he fell into a deep, dreamless sleep. That was a blessing in most ways. Whilst awake, his mind saw fit to torture him with worst-case scenarios. He wouldn’t have been able to take it if his dreams were invaded as well. It wasn’t Sasuke who haunted his thoughts, thankfully within 24 hours of Tsunade’s arrival and the beginning of his treatment, Sasuke had started to perk up, regaining his appetite and his strength quickly followed. He was still on enforced bed rest, because Tsunade wasn’t taking any chances, but Sasuke was no longer the worrying one.

Shisui, on the other hand….

Tsunade refused to talk about it with Itachi, but he had seen her sitting by Shisui’s side, using her magic to forcibly extract the toxins his body was building up as his kidneys were failing. He still hadn’t woken up. When Itachi had spare moments that weren’t taken up with cleaning the compound, helping Tsunade, or entertaining his rapidly recovering little brother, he would sit by Shisui’s side, holding his hand and watching his immobile face, praying for a sign of a chance. Sometimes Tsunade would work around him, other times she would send him away to do something that would keep him out of the way, but one way or another, Itachi would find his way back to Shisui’s side.

It had been a little under a week when Itachi, again sitting by Shisui’s side as Tsunade carefully administered some foul-smelling medicine to her patient, felt Shisui’s hand in his twitch. At first he thought it was some kind of illusion, brought about by his desperation to see any kind of small improvement, but it happened again, more strongly this time, and Tsunade’s movement suddenly became quick and urgent, peering into his eyes, feeling his pulse, watching his breathing, before reaching over and squeezing the tip of his finger. Itachi watched as Shisui, almost unconsciously, pulled his hand back from the pain, and felt hope surge through him.

He leaned forward and said softly. “Shisui! Shisui, can you hear me?” 

Shisui rolled his head towards Itachi’s voice and Itachi tried again, one hand on Shisui’s forehead whilst the other still clutched Shisui’s hand. “Shisui, come on. Open your eyes.”  
An age seemed to pass before Shisui blinked open dark eyes and whispered hoarsely. “Itachi?”

Itachi sighed and sat back, relief flowing through him as he replied. “Shisui, thank everything you’re okay.”

Shisui cast his head about on the pillow a bit, before asking. “Where are you, Itachi? Why’s the room so dark?”

Itachi frowned, but before he could answer, Tsunade broke in sounding, professional and calm. “Shisui, I’m the medic Itachi fetched. I need you to tell me if you can see anything at all, even if it’s just the dimmest light or slightest shadow.”

Shisui shook his head. “No,” he replied, his voice shaking so slightly only Itachi could tell. “There’s nothing.”

“And now?” She put a finger about thirty cm away from his face.

“No.”

“And now?” Fifteen cm away.

“No.”

“And now?” Less than five cm away.

“No. Nothing.”

Tsunade sighed. “I was afraid of this.”

“I’m blind, aren’t I?”

Tsunade nodded. “Yes. Probably permanently. The Sickness seems to have damaged your optic nerve. I just need to check it’s done no other permanent damage. Itachi, if you could leave…?”

Itachi glanced at Shisui, who seemed to sense it and nodded, saying. “It’s okay, Itachi. Thank you.”

Itachi left, closing the door behind him pointedly so Shisui could hear, before making his way to his own room and putting his face in his hands. It was easy, and almost automatic to blame himself, but if Itachi had learned anything from this situation, it was that action, and quick action, was best. He could not do anything about Shisui’s injuries now, but he would not let further inaction on his part damage his family any more. Reaching for paper and ink that was always ready in his room, Itachi began to write and set his affairs in order.

He knew the penalty for being a traitor of Konoha. He prepared for it.

It was only a few hours later when Itachi heard a knock at his door and Tsunade looked in, seemingly surprised that he was writing. She came in and sat in a chair, not even waiting for Itachi to ask before saying. “He’s all right. His body is recovering, and he’s getting stronger. He’s asleep now.”

“His eyes?”

Tsunade shook her head slowly. “His sight is lost. The damage is too deep. You’ll have to look into compensating for it once he’s recovered enough to be out of bed.”

Itachi nodded. “I plan to.” He finished what he was writing and folded the paper, before glancing over at Tsunade and continuing. “I cannot thank you enough for what you have done for my clan. For my family.”

Tsunade shrugged. “I am being paid for the privilege.”

Itachi smiled weakly. “Yes, that’s true. I have a favour to ask, however, one that might not be able to be paid for.”

Tsunade raised an eyebrow, still lounging in the chair. “What is it? I will judge what price might be necessary.”

“I am leaving now. All these things are for Shisui and Sasuke. If you could stay and make sure they are okay, that they are coping, I would be grateful.”

Tsunade looked at him, her gaze cool and thoughtful. “You will be able to do that yourself.”

Itachi nodded. Tsunade left him and a few minutes later, Itachi left his room with three letters. He left one on Sasuke’s bedside table, one on Shisui’s and handed one to Tsunade, avoiding her sharp gaze. He left the compound with the setting sun.

The next time Sasuke opened his eyes, the only thing the steadily recovering young boy would have left of his older brother was two pages of his neat small handwriting and Itachi’s most precious pen, one that Sasuke had never been allowed to touch before.

It wasn’t enough.

It never would be.

**Author's Note:**

> If you want to ask about how this AU is going to work, I am more than happy to answer questions at my [tumblr](http://eirwyn.tumblr.com/)


End file.
